brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
