it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize