Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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