so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
