I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I'm really busy with my period
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