I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
