yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
