My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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