She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
