there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
