i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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