Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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