Already got asked if we're dating
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
