do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
