My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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