Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
