I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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