I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Everyone says I win the strip club
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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