school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
whose ass print is on the piano?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
