just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
