i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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