the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You made out with two different species that night
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
