apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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