Slut skills are useful in every country.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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