he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
