yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
