he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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