I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
