you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
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He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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