I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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