Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
