I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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