Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
