why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
this will be a night to untag.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
