She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
