I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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