Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
