I met the friendliest cop last night
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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