i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize