was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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