Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
