Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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