Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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