Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
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he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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