i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I woke up under a house in Key West
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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