Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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