in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
