there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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