weddingsv make me drug and hornr
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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