can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
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I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
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I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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