so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
false alarm, still single
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
