If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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