I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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