around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Floor bacon is actually really good
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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