So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
