So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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