i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
