Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.

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  (323): Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong. http://tfl.nu/sxrt
  Replies (4) Good night (2413) Bad night (728)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega

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  (303): Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega http://tfl.nu/145a
  Replies (11) Good night (2721) Bad night (802)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder

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  (252): Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder http://tfl.nu/zp9e
  Replies (26) Good night (1868) Bad night (5263)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party

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  (801): We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party http://tfl.nu/w1ty
  Replies (8) Good night (3329) Bad night (841)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion

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  (406): I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion http://tfl.nu/tw2a
  Replies (2) Good night (2883) Bad night (1206)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.

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  (617): You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints. http://tfl.nu/h72d
  Replies (3) Good night (1700) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.

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  (775): At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later. http://tfl.nu/5mcf
  Replies (4) Good night (933) Bad night (2329)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.

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  (785): Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever. http://tfl.nu/qjci
  Replies (1) Good night (1772) Bad night (664)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job

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  (615): What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job http://tfl.nu/r059
  Replies (8) Good night (1432) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.

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  (319): I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming. http://tfl.nu/9kx6
  Replies (1) Good night (850) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.

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  (515): I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes. http://tfl.nu/92xn
  Replies (14) Good night (1891) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Oh my god

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  (336): I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown (336): Oh my god http://tfl.nu/ejg0
  Replies (3) Good night (545) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up

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  (785): i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up http://tfl.nu/9i7j
  Replies (6) Good night (885) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?

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  (315): You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen? http://tfl.nu/8ha5
  Replies (21) Good night (1003) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.

  (917): View more from New York City

  So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?

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  (914): Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid. (917): So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then? http://tfl.nu/rhd2
  Replies (2) Good night (525) Bad night (306)

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