You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
