dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
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Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
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Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend