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I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
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