Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset