I hate your face
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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