Are we in a gay sports bar?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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