I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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