Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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